The first consideration to make when deciding to marry is your choice of a life partner. If you choose the right partner, you will enjoy your marriage but if you make a wrong choice that could mean a life of sorrow and regret or even a ‘death sentence’ for the hurting one. A few things to consider when making this choice include the following:

  • Find someone you can connect with easily…someone you can easily communicate with and be yourself.
  • Both of you should be able to see eye-to-eye on important things so that one does not become a threat to the other.
  • Consider your standards or values and how these compare with his.
  • There must be mutual respect. You cannot spend your life with someone you do not respect.
  • Do not enter marriage superficially to better your material position, spite an old boyfriend who left you or because your friends are married and you want to do likewise.

The often quoted injunction at marriages, ‘WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER’ refers to the union that has been contracted on the right foundation. Such a union is truly MADE IN HEAVEN because the couples have complementing qualities and are companions of equal worth, working together with the same high aims and will never wish to be separated. Anyone that tries to break such a union made in heaven will be committing a sin.

Some of the things that can cause a tear in marriage and lead to possible breakdown include:

  • Moral compromise such as Adultery, telling lies and wrong association and habits.
  • Lack of trust and transparency
  • Poor Communication which include silent treatment, murmuring, yelling, nagging, blaming and the display of anger.

To have a happy and successful marriage is a choice we have to make and the willingness to adhere to Marriage Principles which hinge on honesty, respect and commitment. A quote I came across recently gives a good description of what marriage should be:

‘Marriage is not a static state between two unchanging people. Marriage is a psychological and spiritual journey that begins in the ecstasy of attraction, meanders through a rocky stretch of self discovery, and culminates in the creation of an intimate, joyful, lifelong union.’..Harville Hendrix

To learn more on this vital issue that determines the type of homes and society we shall have, please get in touch with us through our website: to book a speaking engagement.

Lady Jane Ndukwe